Robot Rampage
by Slamson
Summary: A parody of two things: One of the greatest cartoons ever made, and a certain fandom. Did this purely for the fun of it, as I'm not the best writer. One-shot


"I'll never join the Cluster!"  
It was another routine day at Tremorton, Jenny battling her nemesis Queen Vexus on the school roof, the Cluster empire once again having invaded on XJ9's turf. The metallic heroine charged forward when suddenly... Everything around Jennifer becomes pitch black. It was almost as if the background had disappeared...  
Jenny:... Hey, umm, whoever's in charge here... The scenery! Where's the scenery?  
With a few clicks of the computer and the tapping on the keyboard, a new background appears as Jenny finds herself...In her bedroom? Jenny does not yet catch on to this.  
"Alright, Vexus! When I'm through squashing you, I-... Umm..."  
A bit startled by the sudden change in background, Jenny groans in irritation.  
Jenny:... Maybe mom knows what's going on..  
Jenny steps out of her room, searching around the house for her mother. Just as she stepped into the living room, she shrieked in horror as she found her mother, lying on the floor, her body limp, a blood-soaked knife in her grasp... Before Jenny could react, she suddenly heard a strange voice in the background.  
"With her mother forever gone from her life, XJ9 ran out the door sobbing, contemplating jumping into the river... Only her true love Brad could comfort her"  
.. Wait, what?  
"It's angst, the fans just eat this stuff up!"  
Jenny face-palmed in annoyance. "Alright... Have it your way..." she shrugged, obeying the commanding voice. Merely curious as to where this would lead, she made her way to the nearest river.  
"Wait, Jenny, don't do it! I'm nothing without you!"  
That sounded like Brad's voice, strangely enough. Jenny spun herself around, seeing Brad run to her, holding his soul mate tightly.  
"Jenny, please don't leave me...I-I love you" Brad exclaimed desperately. Jenny, feeling quite uncomfortable, slowly pushed Brad away. Just then, another familiar voice was heard.  
"Stay away from her!"  
Sheldon...? Sure enough, Jenny glanced aside, seeing Sheldon armed with a shotgun, a devilish grin on his face. "Jenny's MINE! If I can't have her, no one can! MUHAHAHAHAHHA!".  
Jenny just stood there, dumbfounded... Was this all just a bad dream? Did she drink one too many oil cans?  
As Brad and Sheldon tackled each other furiously, XJ9 took the opportunity to exit the scene quietly. Hoping the commanding author would hear, she exclaimed "Look, w-whoever you are, since when is Sheldon a deranged, homicidal maniac? I don't see the same boy who saved my life on at least four occasions, all while risking his... Acting like this. Did you even watch a single episode of the show before writing this? And Brad... We're just friends, okay? And what's with knocking off my mom so suddenly?"  
Jenny has yet to realize that not only is the author not listening to her rambling, but a giant eraser was sneaking up behind her, erasing her entire body. She only catches on when she completely disappears.  
"Oh, very funny... I get it, this is how you see the characters, Brad's my true love, while Sheldon's an evil maniac and all of his sweet moments were just an act... Fine, you can do it however you like. Just put me back, okay?"  
The author gratefully obeyed.  
"That's better. I don't understand, why does everyone hate Sheldon? He's a bit weird, but he's really sweet when you get to know him, and a lot of the time he's a poor victim of floonder... Flonder... Flanderiza... However you say it... That's funny. Suddenly, I don't feel like myself. Oh, I feel alright, and yet, I feel...I feel..."  
A mirror appeared in front, as Jenny realized why she didn't feel like herself. She was...Anime-ized! Her eyes were huge, her blue hair turned into actual hair instead of jet pack pigtails! And...Was her skirt shorter?  
"GOOD GOD, WHY ARE MY EYES SUDDENLY SO HUGE!" Jenny exclaimed in horror. She glances down, and realizes in horror her skirt's being shortened. She frantically attempts to cover herself nearly-revealed crotch with her arms, blushing furiously. "You know better than that!" she spouted angrily, scowling in contempt. She suddenly found herself back in her bedroom... Someone changed the background again. Though not quite grasping what exactly her situation was, she was at least relieved no one would see her in this state...R-right?

"Coming to bed, sweetheart?".  
Another familiar voice... Misty? Reluctantly, Jenny spun around. Misty was lying on her bed, completely nude. Jenny cringed in disgust. "Misty, what the HELL are you doing in my room! And put some clothes on!". Misty giggled mischievously, slowly crawling to her girlfriend, tickling her chin. Jenny knew she was going to be sick... Was Misty possessed by a demon or something? Was EVERYONE? "Come to bed, robot girl... We're friends, aren't we? And close friends always share their deepest, darkest secrets..." the ninja girl whispered in a seductive tone. Jenny rolled her eyes, crossing her arms, responding sarcastically "Oh yeah, great friends... The last we met, you trying to kill me, showing you're a money-obsessed, traitorous bitch who only cares about herself? Yeah, real romantic... Now get out of my room, and please put your clothes back on!". Misty said nothing, continuing her seductive expressions as poses, as Jenny furiously stormed out of her room.  
Passing by a mirror, she groaned in annoyance, seeing she was still anime-ized. What was happening to everyone? Who was that voice? Why does the background keep changing? And why did she suddenly feel so... Far away, for lack of a better way to put it? "Hey, come here! Come here! Give me a close-up! A close-up!".  
The camera zoomed in a little closer, though not enough to satisfy Jenny.  
"Umm, this ISN'T a close-up. A CLOSE-UP, YOU BOLT-BRAIN! A CLOSE-UP!". Much to her chagrin, the camera zoomed in...On her cleavage, full-view. "Hello? My face is up HERE!" she exclaimed furiously, at her wit's end. Jenny backed away from the camera, embarrassingly covering her chest with her arms. Face-palming, she desperately attempted to talk some sense to whoever was doing to her world.  
"Now look, you obviously need a bettur understainding offfff...". She slowly stopped herself... What'd she just say? Great, grammatical errors. Just what she needs to deal with. Who's writing this? She suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder. What was it now? Brittany Krust in love with Sh...On second thought, she didn't want to give the author any ideas. Preparing herself for the worst, she slowly turned around. "Oh, N-NOW what...?", she said to herself.  
"Hi, I'm Jenna!". It was... Another robot girl? She looked oddly familiar, but how? The name didn't ring a bell. As this "Jenna" continued waving cheerfully, the answer quickly sunk in to Jenny. She looked exactly like her, only green. "I'm your new best friend/sister! Let's hang out!". So, it's come to this. Jenny shoved this "new friend" of hers aside violently, bolting off, running as fast as she could. It was the only solution she could think of, anything to try and escape this madness.  
Just then, she found herself in front of Tremorton High. She glanced down at herself, relieved her old design was back, no enlarged assets. Though the scenery appeared perfectly normal, Jenny was understandably on edge. She quickly inspected the environment suspiciously. "... Things seem normal. Are you done? Can we finally have a DECENT fanfic? Please?" she begged to the higher forces above desperately, having had more than enough. She heard no response, but as the school bell rang, as she saw the crowd of students hurriedly entering the building, she could only hope that the author had finally given up, running inside the school.  
Though there was the risk of being late for class, she felt she needed to double-check on her friends. Seeing Brad rummaging through his locker, she frantically sprinted to him. Obviously still feeling a bit exasperated, she grabbed her redheaded friend by the shoulders and stammered in her fit of panic "BRAD! Are you feeling okay! Do you remember anything about fighting with Sheldon?". Brad stepped back, lifting Jenny's hands off his shoulders, patting his mentally wrecked friend on the forehead. "I'm feeling fine, Jen, what's gotten into you? And who's Sheldon?". Phew, she was right! The author had given up!... Wait... W-W-What was that last part?  
CRASH!  
Before Jenny could respond, a hole was torn through the roof, as familiar-looking drones quickly swarmed the premises. Jenny readied herself into a battle pose almost on instinct, though dreadfully wondering what the author had done to the Cluster after getting rid of Sheldon. Smytus busted through the front entrance. "XJ9, you're coming with us! It is your destiny to become one with the Cluster!". Well, Smytus seemed like himself... Before Jenny could act, a brown-haired boy with absurdly huge muscles stepped in front of her. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt, and sweat pants. "Oh no, look out, Jenny! It's Smytus! Go hide, I'll protect you!" he shouted. "Who the hell are you?" Jenny asked, not bothering to disguise her annoyance. "Jenny, you have to hide! I'll always be there for you!" the boy continued. Rather than argue, Jenny shrugged and prepared to unleash her weaponry on Smytus... But, for some odd reason, nothing activated. Her Mighty Mallet? Gone. Her laser cannon? Gone. Her jet pack pigtails? Only a puff of steam was released as she attempted to take off. She was completely helpless, and needed to be saved. The boy flew above her, karate-chopping Smytus in the groin. "Don't worry, I'll save you, then we can run off and get married!".  
Enough was enough, Jenny couldn't stand it any longer. This was the very, very last straw! She exploded in rage, steam coming out of her pigtails. Who was responsible for this? She had to know! Just then, just as she could unleash a verbal hurricane, a mirror suddenly presented itself in front of her.  
"I'm...I'm... Human?" she gasped in astonishment. Indeed she was, looking just like her old exo-skin, looking just as beautiful as it was before. Jenny sighed, cracking a smile. "Wow...Maybe whoever's writing this, isn't so bad after all. Just bring Sheldon back, and I'll work with you, okay? I know you don't like him because so-and-so is my true love, but he's one of my closest friends whether you like it or not" she cheerfully suggested, fidgeting with her red, silky, beautiful hair.  
And so, Jenny was turned permanently human, forced to marry a new boy named "John", but grateful she was allowed to see her friends Brad, Tuck and Sheldon now and then. Of course, now she could no longer protect the town, and the world would probably be enslaved in a couple of weeks...Oh well. "By the way..." Jenny began. "Can you at least tell me who you are? I'm just curious".  
We slowly zoom out, as we see the author of this story...Rob Renzetti, who merely shrugs at the reader. "What? This is what the fans wanted".  
That's all folks! A My Life as a Teenage Robot Cartoon.


End file.
